Mercenaries 2

2009-06-08 23:23:52

Mercenaries 2(Xbox 360)

Mercenaries 2, is a game about being an asshole. 1. You are a mercenary, starting up your own Private Military Corporation in Venezuala because someone cheated you out of your paycheck. 2. you take contracts against everyone, so you might be allied with someone one minute and against them the next, no alliances. and 3. the most important, is everything in the game is destructable, you can blow up EVERYTHING. level the entire world into a crater with cluster bombs and artillery and laugh it up the whole way. This is stress relief beyond the squishy balls and yoga, this is cathartic explosions and gratuitious violence.

You start with a choice of 3 characters, 2 males and 1 female. I chose the African American Merc as he was the least offensive looking of the bunch. The white male has a huge set of liberty spikes that I just couldn't see being feasible on the battlefield. so I took the more tactically minded of the mercs. After you get past the starting mission that sets the stage you basically have to slowly put together your PMC, including hiring out a chopper pilot, and a jet pilot, and taking over your enemies old mansion to use as a base of ops. Once you get the chopper pilot you can steal oil, money, and munitions hidden around the map. If it belongs to a faction you might piss them off, but in the end you can use that oil/munitions to blow their shit up, so why worry? The Jet Pilot allows you to make use of those bombs you've been picking up all game with the chopper pilot. It all comes together in the end.

Missions are pretty freeform through the game, sometimes you might have to capture someone, which is the most difficult arrangement as it is the only one that doesn't involve blowing shit up. you actually have to walk up to your target and knock him out and handcuff him for extraction, the rest of them usually amount to flying a chopper into the battlefield, finding a chink in the armor, and landing in and blowing everything up with satchel charges or a stolen tank until you succeed. Since there's so many ways to blow shit up in the game you really are open to do just about anything to get the task done, whether it's using RPG's, tanks, satchel charges, attack helicopters, MOAB drops via satellite guidance, laser guided bombs, you name it it's here. All the explosives and vehicles come at a cost. First you have to buy the weapons from your allies, which you gain access to more and more weapons by doing more missions for that faction. After you earned them you can just buy as many as you can afford, as most of the game you have millions of dollars so it's not too hard to acquire munitions/vehicles. However there is a second payment you have to make for these things, and it comes by way of Oil. It costs fuel to fly these toys out to your soldier on the field, and that's the only way you can even get supplies, you can't pick them up at the PMC and walk out with them, you HAVE to have them flown out, which can be incredibly annoying, You should at least be able to save a few quarts of the black shit by driving by base to change out your gear to a sniper package, or an assualt package. maybe pick up some ammo. So you constantly have to keep your eyes open for oil to capture.

The game has one of the most interesting learning curves ever. for about 75% of the game you spend fighting small legions of venezualan troops and maybe rebels, where you can laughingly shrug bullets and basically fuck them up 10 ways from sunday without ducking. then when the Allied Nations(UN) and China show up the game turns into a bastard hard just trying to survive fest as you get to suffer from superior numbers shooting you in what you originally believed were titanium balls turned into nerf. Sadly this makes the end game so damn hard that it's hard not to want to throw the controller at the wall in frustration. What used to be laughs and blown up buildings all around becomes the "oh shit oh shit oh shit" of running from cover to cover as you are turned into a chinese pincushion.

Reason Rank
Start 10
Being an asshole taken to the extreme +8
Cartoonish and Retarded character choices -6
Completely Destructable Environment +2
Grand Canyon of Difficulty Curves -5
Total 9/10

The sheer ability to play the asshole in this game sells it for me as a 9/10, you really can't beat the game for a fun opportunity to just blow shit up for no reason other than it's fun. Also you can use helicopters to pick up enemy vehicles and fling them into the bay. Both of those things are worth the 13 dollar price of admission(used).